I failed poetry

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I have always been more for writing novels and short stories, but when I am feeling down I focus on writing poetry. I always considered my poems to be of a good quality, but apparently I was wrong, because I gave in my poetry portfolio to university and failed!
An example of one of the poems is:

Lost

I lay down on the pavement,

The streetlights blind my eyes,

I don’t know where to look –

I’m running out of lies.

I don’t know who to turn to,

Where to go,

Or what to do,

Shelter’s not an option,

Though my lips are turning blue.

The pavement’s hard beneath me –

And stones stick in my skin.

Stars are shining brightly,

Although the moonlight’s only dim.

But a shadow’s getting closer,

So I shut my eyes and groan,

The man kneels down beside me,

Whispers – “we miss you, please come home!”

Now although the lecturer thought that my attention to detail was good, apparently the rhyme and rhythm is ‘childlike.’ So I am rewriting my portfolio hoping to pass second time around!

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